No advice for Class of 2015, just a few suggestions...

          Parents are biting their knuckles as they watch their sons and daughters packing for a new life in a dormitory or apartment.

The kids think they have life all figured out.

Mom and Dad know differently.

            The Internet is filled with graduate advice and life lessons, and family members feel it’s their duty to make sure they impart the wisdom they’ve learned over the years.

But teenagers ignore any speech that starts with “let me give you a little advice” because they know everything. Let’s be honest – they do know everything because what they don’t have in their heads, they can find on their phone.

            Suggestions and bits of folksy advice don’t work. So, Class of 2015, here’s some “get ‘er done” words:

            Don’t look like an idiot. Your phone’s pretty smart, but there are some things you need to know to impress those over the age of 35. Why? Unless you’re working at a fast-food joint, those are the people signing your paycheck.

You should know the names of the Beatles. They’re John, George, Ringo and Paul. Chuck Berry was the first true rock-and-roll legend, even though Elvis is the king.

            Nobody can replace Marilyn Monroe when it comes to sex appeal, James Brown is the godfather of soul and Karen Carpenter had the voice of an angel. If you don’t know who these artists were, fire up Google. And commit that to memory.

            Learn some manners. Chew with your mouth closed, open the door for others, hold your fork like an eating utensil, not a shovel, and put your dirty clothes in the hamper. Don’t drop them on the floor like a snake shedding its skin.

            Thank others on a regular basis. This order comes courtesy of Terry High Football Coach Tim Teykl. People like to be acknowledged for what they do, and they are seldom recognized. Be the one that rights that oversight. But not through a text. Show some class – write them a note.

            Quit driving like a maniac. Obey the speed limits. Quit changing lanes like you’re playing hop-scotch. Use the signals more than your horn. Don’t tailgate and keep at least a half tank of gas in your vehicle at all times. You never know when an emergency’s coming up.

            Stop texting and driving. The most important direct order you’ll ever get because the life you save may be yours or your mother’s or your sister’s. No life is worth driving 80 miles per hour because you want to show off or get there faster.

            Be nice to people. This is basic kindergarten advice, graduates. Not only is being nice the right thing to do, but you never know when that person you told off is going to be your boss. Vent to your dog. He’ll never repeat what you said and he’s much more forgiving than people.

            Save your money. It’s so tempting to get the latest phone upgrade, order more movies from NetFlix or buy those new shoes. Quit buying fad items and put that money in a sock in your drawer until you regain your senses.

            Find something good in every person you meet. Most people have good inside them. Look until you find it. But know when to stop wasting your time because it’s most people, not all people.

            And there you have it, Class of 2015, some suggestions for life.  Don’t thank me – I’m simply telling you the same thing your parents and grandparents have been telling you all your life.

So do what they say. You’ll be glad you did.

 This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.