Bustin' the Fat Myths

                I was listening to National Public Radio, choking down some tasteless fiber cereal with fat-free milk, when the clouds parted and the sun came through. A new study claims a low-fat approach to life might not be all that great.

            Walter Willett, chairman of the department of nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health, stated that when people replaced saturated fat with carbohydrates, there was no reduction in heart disease.

            I looked at the cardboard cereal floating in pale milk, put it in the sink and hauled out the Frosted Flakes and whole milk, all the while wondering why I totally revise my life based on what so-called experts tell me is the best thing to do only to find out later they might've been mistaken.

            For instance, I found an reputable article stating that fruits and vegetables cause 46 percent of all food poisoning, and leafy greens, like spinach and lettuce, are the biggest culprits because we tend to eat them raw.

            Just as I was shaking my head in disbelief, I saw a headline for an article that exercise might not be all that good for you.

            For years, we've been told to get off the couch, lace up those expensive $150 running shoes and get out the door. But a new scientific study claims that when it comes to rigorous exercise, more isn't always better.

            As someone whose DNA is infused with guilt, these revelations should be cause for celebration, but I've got to face the truth. People who exercise, even just a little, have a lot firmer backsides and thighs than I do.

            I started thinking of some other health myths I've heard over the years. My dad used to tell us that if we watched television for too long, our eyes would grow together until we looked like a Cyclops.

            Untrue, Dad. I watched Saturday morning cartoons for years with no ill effects except I still judge people by which character they think is funnier:  Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck.

            I've seen every episode of "The Andy Griffith Show" at least three times and I still have two eyes.

            We were told chocolate would make our faces break out and one bite – yes one bite – of a chocolate bar would be our doom.

            Not true.  

            Eating an entire package of candy bars will put on the pounds, but a few Hershey's Kisses will not send you into an immediate heart attack. Nor will a night curled up with the boxed set of "Cheers" DVDs.

            I'm not a doctor, dietician or expert. I'm just sitting at my computer, slurping up the last few soggy flakes at the bottom of my Bugs Bunny cereal bowl, aggravated at all the scientific gobble-de-gook I've accepted at face value over the years.

            I'm mad at myself for drinking weak no-fat milk when I could've had a cup of rich hot chocolate made with whole milk.

            I'm aggravated I gave up double-stuff Oreos for ginger snaps I could use to tile our roof and recently considered buying tofu instead of steak.

            Moderation, I believe is the key. If you want that bowl of ice cream, do so but perhaps after you've ridden on the stationary bike for 20 minutes.

            If you want to watch back-to-back episodes of "Gilligan's Island," do so without worrying about your eyesight.

            Worry about your IQ, but not your eyesight.

            And if you want to jog around the block when you finally drag yourself off the couch, go for it.

            Tony the Tiger would think that's great.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.