A year of un-resolutions

            It's the second day of 2014, the day we swear to fulfill all our New Year's resolutions. We will get those running shoes out of the box and run that 5k in March. We will replace the whole milk with skim milk, and we'll tell the waiter to hold the chips and salsa.

            As if.

            I've made hundreds of New Year's resolutions and most fell by the wayside long before Valentine's Day. But not making resolutions at the beginning of a new year somehow seems unproductive. People ask what my resolutions are and I rattle off the normal ones – eat healthier and lose weight.

            And then here comes the chips and salsa.

            Busted.

            However, I'm someone who likes to make lists. I always carry around a to-do list, so having a check-off list for the new year is a compulsion I just can't shake.

            But instead of calling them resolutions, I'm going to entitle my 2014 New Year's list my hopefuls. I hope I can accomplish these or least give each one a good try. So here we go:

·         Laugh more. I'm usually an optimist and a cheerful person, but I find myself criticizing myself more often instead of laughing at my mistakes. Two thousand and fourteen will be the year I'll give myself a break.

·         Learn more about my cell phone. I've had this cell phone for over a year, and my son just showed me how to record my voice which becomes a text message. No more complaining about how much I detest text messaging because it takes me so long to type out the message. No more replies of "OY" instead of "OK" because I can't get my pudgy fingers on the right buttons. My sons should expect full diatribes now via text messaging.

·         Watch more YouTube videos. Laugh if you will, but there's a wealth of information on YouTube. I could learn how to rebuild a motor, macramé a bedspread or speak Chinese by watching YouTube videos. Plus any time I want to hear Frank Sinatra sing "When I Was 17," all I have to do is jump on YouTube and I'll find Ole Blue Eyes.

·         Get outside. With a day job that keeps me inside 10 hours a day and a short walk to my car, it's easy to avoid being outside. Instead of staying cooped up – I know you're thinking watching YouTube videos – I want to get outside and explore my neighborhood on foot instead of from the front seat of my car.

·         Stop reading end-of-the-world stories. From wrist watches that count down the rest of your life to doomsday movies, I'm getting paranoid about asteroids hitting the planet, robots taking over the world and the government using chemtrails to alter the environment. No more. The end's coming whether we like it or not. Until then, I'll simply enjoy my chips and salsa.

·         Eat healthier and lose weight. No way I can compile a list of hopes without putting these on there. After all, these two have been on my list since I was 16 years old. Life just wouldn't seem the same without these old enemies.

      And last but not least, say something nice to someone every day. Too often, I'm in a hurry and don't take the time to give a much needed pat on the back to those who deserve it. And that includes saying something nice to myself.

      So... nice job on finishing this column.

      Check one off the list.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.