Friday, June 15, 2012

The difference between dads and fathers

Sunday is a day we celebrate fathers, and advertisers have all kinds of ways for us to express our thanks. Walking down the greeting card aisle, there's humorous cards, sentimental cards and some that simply acknowledge the day.

The Internet's filled with sites allowing visitors to order gift baskets filled with all types of goodies, from chocolate tools to the standard shirt and tie.

The handyman big-box stores are filled with everything a man could want for Father's Day – drills, screwdrivers, gas mowers and hedge clippers.

If guys are anything like the girls, though, nothing's worse at saying "I appreciate you" than a gift that requires work or self improvement, so leaving the "how to build a new deck in three weekends" book in the store is probably a good idea.

Advertisements promise guys will love a new barbecue grill, but those babies require someone to put them together, refill the propane tank every few weeks or fill up the bottom with charcoal every time somebody wants to eat outside. Guess who's the one stuck next to a hot barbecue grill on Father's Day?

But no matter what gift is on the kitchen table Sunday morning, the idea of Father's Day is to show fathers our appreciation for the people who take on the biggest responsibility in the world, a parent.

Many of us, however, have a tough time on this holiday because our dads are absent – overseas fighting in a war or away from home due to divorce or death, their memories all we have to remember them.

Then there are the fathers absent from the home by choice. I don't think I'll ever understand how a man could turn his back on his family, and my admiration for the people who fill that slot in a child's life knows no bounds.

Different people accept that parenting role – a grandfather who steps in when his son or son-in-law is unable or unwilling to fulfill his duties to his children.

Stepparents and adoptive parents all take on the mother or father role, and there's a place in heaven for those who willingly accept parenting duties from driving carpool for Little League to getting up in the middle of the night with a sick child.

There are moms who do double duty, and these handle-it-all parents deserve all the credit we can give them. But there's a subtle difference between being a father and being a dad, and although both love their children, fathers and dads show that love in different ways.

Fathers let you drive their truck after you've made the first insurance payment.

Dads let you take the truck to go mudding.

Fathers write the check for your college tuition.

Dads haul all your dresses, shoes and stuffed animals up three flights of stairs to your dorm room.

Fathers buy you a fishing pole.

Dads whoop and holler when you haul in a six-inch trout, proclaiming it the biggest fish they ever saw.

Fathers pay the fee for you to play in a basketball league.

Dads go to every one of your games, even if you always sit the bench.

Fathers aren't quite sure why girls need 20 different bottles of nail polish.

Dads let you paint their fingernails every shade of the rainbow.

Fathers are at a loss for words when you come home with a broken heart.

Dads put their arms around you, tell you everything will be all right, and you know, if your daddy says something is true, it is.

On this holiday that honors fathers, let's remember it takes somebody special to be a father.

It takes a superhero to be a dad.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.

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