While chatting with my friend, Pat, she said her son was invited to a wedding shower for couples. Mark, a bachelor, wasn't quite sure what to make of the party as he'd never been to a that type of shindig before.
Gentlemen, welcome to a brave new world – the wedding shower.
In the past, wedding showers were considered a woman's domain. But what men don't realize is that before anybody walks through the front door carrying an ice bucket wrapped in silver and white paper, there's quite a bit of behind-the-scenes planning happening.
First, there's the invitations. Traditional bridal shower invites are usually printed on embossed paper, a delicate tissue paper sleeve protecting the print, and sent through the U.S. Postal service.
Today's groom believes texting the invite is more efficient and, because it's free, allows more money for beer and pretzels.
And speaking of snacks, they're as important as the invitations. I remember watching my mom make sandwiches for bridal showers she hosted.
A week before the shower, Mom ordered colored bread from the local bakery. On the day of the shower, quite a bit of time was spent slicing cucumbers for the filling and then artfully arranging those tiny blue triangles on a silver tray.
To this day, I cannot figure out why anyone would think a slice of cucumber between two slices of blue bread could be considered a sandwich.
But now that men are attending showers, I guarantee there will be barbecue and bratwurst alongside those frilly sandwiches.
Then there's the drinks. Old-fashioned wedding showers required the hostess to come up with some type of sparkling punch served in an oversized glass punch bowl, usually borrowed from a great-great aunt.
The punch mixture was either a container of lemonade mixed with a bottle of 7-Up with sliced lemons floating around the top or a half gallon of orange sherbet covered with 7-Up to create a frothing cloud.
With the couples shower, I'm betting part of the beverage list includes "get your own" sodas in the fridge and a battered Igloo filled with adult beverages on the patio.
No bridal shower is complete without the games. My friend's son loves games, but hopefully we've moved away from the traditional games nobody likes but everybody plays because it's expected.
There's the written game where participants have to unscramble letters to make words all pertaining to a wedding. For some reason, "expensive" and " budget" are never on the word list.
And then there's the game where participants write down advice for the bride-to-be. They're usually lofty ideals, never practical advice like, never ask "does this make me feel fat" or "does this lasagna taste as good as your mother's?"
Wait until the guys find out that if you win the game, you give your prize to the bride to be. I found out about this traditional act of generosity the hard way.
At one of the first bridal showers I ever attended, I won a game. The hostess handed me a set of pretty kitchen towels, and I thought those would come in handy in my dorm room.
I was feeling pretty good about my win until the girl next to me – a seasoned shower attendee – leaned over and whispered "You have to give it to the bride."
Sure enough, the hostess was standing next to me, a forced smile on her face. So I reluctantly handed her the towels and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Something tells me if there are games at a couples shower, the men will keep the prizes, high five each other and then spend the rest of the afternoon gloating about their win.
I'm betting gifts given at a couples shower are fun. Let's face it – a new drill is a lot more fun than a chafing dish. In fact, I'll bet brides think a new drill is more fun than a chafing dish, even if a silver serving tray comes with it.
So gentlemen, RSVP to that invitation, come on in and let the games begin.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.
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