Thursday, July 15, 2010

Twenty-one nail holes and four trips to town

Twenty-one nail holes, four trips to town and $50. It took all that to successfully hang one mirror on the laundry room wall. How can something so simple turn out so difficult? Well, it all started with a plastic panel... We moved to a new house with white and beige everywhere, including, oddly, a narrow, white plastic panel in the middle of the laundry room wall.

While my husband was out of town, I thought I'd surprise him by covering up the panel. A long poster might do the trick, so I picked up an inexpensive print, but it was too short.

Realizing I should measure the panel before I bought anything else, I hauled out my trusty wooden yard stick, wrote down the panel's width and the length and headed to the local resale shops.

If a poster of Elvis or Hannah Montana was what I wanted, I was in luck. However, I wanted something a little more subdued.

Since I knew about a few consignment shops in Houston, I braved Westheimer at rush hour. But the right-sized choices were a faded 1985 poster from the balloon festival in Albuquerque or Elvis. I passed on both choices.

So I filled up my car, again, and went to one of the huge box stores. I found an inexpensive abstract picture but realized I'd left the measurements at home. Still, it looked to be the right size, so I bought it.

Bad choice. The picture was six inches too short and two inches too narrow.

This simple project had now turned into a grit-your-teeth mission.

Once again, I headed into town, measurements in tow, and found a nice mirror for less than $25. The only drawback was the mirror weighed 40 pounds and required two heavy-duty picture hangers.

Not a problem for a do-it-yourselfer, so back at home, I measured, carefully marked and nailed in the first picture hanger. Then I attempted to nail in the second picture hanger.

But less than two strikes in, I hit metal. I moved the hanger over a couple of inches, knowing I could move the clip on the back of the mirror. Ting! Hit metal again.

This job was harder than it looked.

I decided to use a nail and tap a few holes in the wall to avoid hitting metal again. Six holes later, I found a good spot, but that meant I had to move the hangers on the back of the mirror.

An hour later, I'd measured and moved the hooks on the back of the mirror so they lined up exactly with the hangers on the wall. I hoisted that mirror up and placed it on the hooks. Whew -- it was straight.

Unfortunately, the picture was two inches to the left of the plastic panel.

I yanked that mirror off the wall, dropped it on my foot -- that mirror really is heavy -- and eyeballed where I thought the hanger should go. This time, by sheer luck, I managed to get it hung so it covered the plastic.

However, there was that little matter of all those holes in the wall. I have a collection of paint chip samples and found one that seemed to match the wall color.

Ten dollars and an hour later, I had a small can of custom-mixed paint, spackling and a paint brush. When the paint dried, it was quite obvious someone had tried to cover up a poor patch job.

I called the neighborhood builder, and he promised to send over a painter and my husband would never know the damage I'd inflicted on that wall.

The grand total for covering a piece of plastic? Twenty-one nail holes, a professional painter, four trips to town, two tanks of gas, a bruise the size of a grapefruit on my foot and $50 worth of pictures.

Nothing to it.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.

1 comment:

Zuki said...

Sounds like an old Master card ad!! Priceless. You need to put that Iphone to good use and put all your notes in that thing, you'll never need to write them down on paper(or your hand) again!